Parent Coordination Services for High-Conflict Families:

NEOBH developed Parent Coordination Services as a unique way to work with families that are embroiled in intense conflict following the completion of divorce proceedings. Our clinical experiences with “high-conflict” families suggests that typical psychotherapeutic intervention does not address the stresses and challenges inherent in co-parenting children in the midst of painful emotions that continue to exist well after a legal divorce has concluded. Parent Coordination was designed as a way to help post-decree families develop the skills they need to navigate a new parenting relationship and successfully carry out the terms of their Parenting Agreements without causing their children continued emotional distress.

Elements of the Parent Coordinator Model

MAIN FOCUS: The relationship between the parents and the well being of the child.

1. Provides a Communication Link Between Parents: Eventually, the goal is to foster parent communication without the PC as a go-between. The PC is equipped to handle crises versus using legal proceedings as a way to resolve a conflict. This way, they serve to contain the level of conflict. The PC can help parents neutralize inflammatory messages, but may initially do this personally. This can help parents to focus on the task of communicating the important information, and making the decisions, rather than on the provocative tone of the message. The PC may engage stepparents, and must assess their role in escalating/de-escalating conflicts.

2. Helps Parents Make Joint Decisions: Assists in moving family members toward a healthier, more civilized post-divorce adjustment. The PC employs some mediation skills, but with the awareness that individual parent pathology may have already caused mediation to fail.

3. Educates Parents on the Following Topics:

· Child Development: Transitions between homes, holidays, individual needs based on age, personality, gender – etc. Ways to maximize time with both parents.

· How to co-parent in a civil manner with someone who triggers profound feelings of anger, mistrust and hurt.

· Conflict Resolution: Skills and Techniques

· Family Issues: Impact and involvement of stepparents, extended family, etc.

4. Provides Resources for Specific Problems: The special needs of one child, issues regarding the advisability of a child’s involvement in an activity, etc.

5. Coordinates the Input of Different Professionals: Educate the parent regarding the role of each professional involved. Many parents confuse the roles of the child’s therapist and the Guardian ad Litem in terms of decision-making power, level of confidentiality assured, and ability to provide unbiased guidance. The use of a PC may allow the child’s therapist to avoid being drawn into parenting decisions and conflicts, making it easier to focus on the needs of the child, while the PC handles parenting issues. The PC collaborates with the child’s therapist in order to gauge how they are doing. Other system linkages include teachers, Social Services, medical professionals, even religious professionals.

6. Works Closely With the Guardian ad Litem (GAL): If there is a GAL involved, the roles of the PC and the GAL may overlap. In the Stark and Summit County court systems, the PC does not have arbitration power. The PC may provide input to the GAL and to the Court regarding the process of Parent Consultation/Coordination. This includes recommendations regarding how to fairly resolve impasses. NEOBH believes that close communication and coordination between the Court, the PC and the Guardian ad Litem is essential.

Two-Tier Model for Parent Coordination Services

Per the Stark County Family Court and the Summit County Domestic Relations Court, Clients may be involved in Parent Coordination Services in Two Ways:

1. Court-Ordered/Non-Confidential Process – both parties sign Releases of Information to the Court. The Parent Coordinator is obligated to provide information to the Court regarding the progress of Parent Coordination Services. An Agreement document is signed in order to assure complete understanding of the obligations of all involved.

2. Court Referred/Confidential Process – voluntary participation, with confidentiality assured by an Agreement Document.

*** The vast majority of cases referred for Parent Coordination follow a Court-Ordered/Non-Confidential Model. The Court expects communication from the Parent Coordinator.

Regardless of the method of referral, Parent Coordination consists of the following components:

· Initial individual interviews of both parents

· Analysis of which situations/circumstances are problematic, and which should be an area of attention during sessions

· Total focus on problem-solving for identified problem situations

· Total focus on “what will work for the children”

· Assignment of specific behavioral strategies to reduce conflict (i.e. visitation transfers, clothing, communications regarding the children, involvement in children’s activities, level of involvement of step-parents, significant others – etc.)

· “Memorandum of Understanding” may be generated during a session, at the discretion of the PC. This document may detail what each party will do regarding the problem area discussed

· Flexible follow-up regarding the outcome of efforts to implement adjustments discussed

· Refining of solutions to “trouble-shoot” problems encountered with agreed upon strategies

· Transfer of skills learned to assist in the resolution of “new” problems that may arise as Parent Coordination continues

· Decreasing frequency of sessions, with the option of return for special situations, such as summer visitation, changes in the child’s needs

First Step After Referral: Assessment and Information-Gathering

What is Reviewed?

1. All previous psychological evaluations conducted with family members. This provides data regarding the level of functioning of each individual. High-conflict families usually have several evaluations available.

2. Information gathered from other professionals involved with the family, such as attorneys, therapists, school personnel, Social Services, child-care providers, etc.

3. An interview with the children may be conducted at the discretion of the Parent Coordonator, in order to determine how the parent conflict is affecting them. Meeting the children personally may be necessary in order to separate parental fiction from objective fact. Knowledge of the children’s needs and the ability to convey what they need is a powerful tool that the PC can use to engage parents. Toward this end, the PC gathers data regarding the following questions:

· What has been the impact of the conflict on the children?

· How have the children learned to cope with the conflict?

· How is each child aligned?

· Are there other key players that the child views as helpful/destructive to the conflict resolution process?

· What are the normal developmental issues and tasks that each child faces?

· Is there any area in which the children are not safe?

· Given the current state of the children’s needs, which issues need to be resolved first? What principles should guide the PC’s decisions?

4. Data generated via separate meetings with each parent, in order to determine parenting strengths, weaknesses, interaction styles, the contribution of other family members, and the possible causes of continued conflict. This also allows each parent to “tell their story” to the PC. Parents in high-conflict situations have an intense need to do this. If allowed to do so individually before conjoint sessions begin, the PC is better able to help each individual to focus on the present issues.

5. A conjoint meeting with both parents. In this meeting, the following tasks are accomplished:

· The PC will outline the issues that have been identified by each parent in separate meetings with the PC

· The PC will present a perspective of the family’s dilemma, in such a way that the family can concur that something needs to be accomplished in order to avoid further negative affects on the children,

· The PC will outline his/her role and how the PC will proceed. A disclosure document is given to each parent for future reference. Each parent is asked to provide a signature, indicating their understanding. This information covers issues such as management of crises, phone calls, vacation coverage, terms for termination and full disclosure of all financial issues/expectations.

At NEOBH, our Parent Coordinators avoid becoming involved with conflict resolution until the assessment phase has been completed, even if the family presents “in crisis.” In order for the PC to intervene effectively, all parties must begin the process of Parent Coordination with a complete understanding of what must be accomplished.

Court Orders and Reports to the Court

1. The Court orders all parties to sign all releases of information requested by the Parent Coordinator (PC).

2. The Court determines percentages of fees each will pay to the PC.

3. The Court often specifies a time-frame for a “reasonable try” at Parent Coordination:

· At least six months from the date of the first conjoint meeting with both parents (after assessment phase). This should deter those who delay getting in touch with the PC, etc. A one or two year period could be ordered. The length of time might depend on the extent of Court involvement already experienced by the family.

· During the period ordered, the PC cannot be fired or replaced by one parent alone, unless ordered by the Court. In some cases, it may be necessary for the PC to withdraw. Both attorneys and the Court will be notified of the decision, and the rationale.

· At the end of the specified period, the progress is reviewed. Progress is based not on how well the parents are pleased with the process but, rather, on how well the children are doing emotionally and developmentally. The goal is to keep the children minimally exposed to the conflict while allowing them to build a good relationship with each parent. If this goal has been met, then PC work has been successful, and the contract for PC work can be renewed. The PC may phase out as parents begin to take more responsibility for managing their own conflict.

· If there has been little progress or a stalemate, the PC will:

1. Try to analyze for the Court what has worked/not worked

2. Consider whether another PC would be advisable, or if the PC model is simply not workable for the family.Family Treatment: